OUR FIRST ATTACK

During the match of Angie Everhart and Cindy Crawford, Shannon Elizabeth jump the railing and attacked Cindy.

turnbuckle. While she has him down she wrestles his baton away from him and cracks him in the throat. Meanwhile Shannon notices that the security guards are entering the ring. She rolls Crawford out of the ring. As she does this she notices two guards are creeping up behind. She turns around and executes a flying body block on both of the guards. Now more guards are filling up the apron of the ring and coming through the ropes. Angie starts swinging the baton at them. She manages to connect on the thighs of two before one grabs her from behind. She starts kicking and screaming. Shannon gets off the two guards and tries to perform an springboard moonsault on a entering guard but one of the guards on the apron grab her feet and drag her out of the ring. Shannon struggles but can’t get free. Angie sees Shannon finally give up and throws the baton with her free hand. The baton flies and hits a guard in the collar bone. He looses his balance and falls off the ring apron. He flies with a gracefulness of an elephant. He lands on his head on the guardrail. He slumps twitching as blood starts to pool around his shoulders.

Guard: Holy shit get the paramedics. Fucking hurry.

Angie and Shannon are cuffed and brought up the ramp, as paramedics come rushing down the ramp followed by ROC.

SUMMARILY ROC FIRED ANGIE FROM THE LEAGUE AND BASICALLY SAID THAT SHANNON WOULDN'T BE A PART OF THE LEAGUE. FINALLY ROC ARRESTED BOTH ANGIE AND SHANNON.

Angie and Shannon are in the luxury section of LAPD holding cells. It has housed some of the finest actors of our generation. Even now Emmanuelle Lewis is contemplating his actions over a cappuccino while watching local cable news show on the 27" tv.

AE: Can you believe the gall of that annoying little punk.

SE: Shhh, Angie, Emmanuelle will hear you he is in the cell next to us.

AE: Not that annoying little punk, ROC.

SE: OH, no can't say that I can.

AE: So how long does it normally take to get processed around here? The cappuccinos is awful, the beds are lumpy, and the cable only has 56 stations.

SE: Depends, about 45 mins.

AE: Cool, will be home in time to see the recap show. Hopefully they will show a replay of that flat foot falling.

SE: Yeah in slow mo. By the way what kind of defense is Johnny Cochran going to use?

AE: Ah the wise one is going to use the Chewbacca defense.

SE: Chewbacca Defense?

AE: Yeah he starts off like Ewoks live on Endor. Wookies live on... the name escapes me. Wookies are 7 feet tall Ewoks are three feet talk. It clearly does not make sense.... He keeps on going for like three hours and finally concludes with If it don't make sense you must acquit.

SE: That really works?

AE: Of course it does. It confuses the weak little minds of the jury, who in this town is mainly comprised of Mexicans with fake papers. Hell they get paid more money as jurors in a day then there families do back home in a year.

SE: When will you think the trial will be?

AE: Probably they will allow about 3 months for evidence gathering. Another three months for disclosure. And finally about 6 months for paper work to be filled out.

SE: So I guess we won’t have to see ROC again until like a year from now?

AE: Oh we will see her sooner than that we have to get your autograph she is so reluctant to give.

SE: Ok, when will we see her?

AE: Probably Saturday.

SE: Oh hey look there is a cockroach at your foot.

Angie steps on the ass of the bug so its left to spend the last few minutes of its life dragging its flattened half with its front two legs.

SE: Hey lets nuke the bastard. I heard they can survive after you put them in the microwave.

AE: Can’t ours is on the fritz.

SE: I have an idea. Guard! Guard!

Guard: Yeah ladies?

SE: Would you take this down to Mr. Martin Sheen?

She picks up the bug and hands it to the guard. After he leaves a few minutes later.

Martin Sheen: OH GOOOOD GOD NO. THE HUMANITY!!! I have to try CPR!!!….